Re: The Orioles' Offseason

Happy New Years everyone!  I realize I'm a month late, but I've been really wrapped up in this contested Ivory Coast election.  Who will come out as the victor?  Gbagbo or Ouattara?  Ouattara or Gbagbo?  It's so exciting, I'm sure you've been crazy about it as well.  And those UN sanctions?!  That Ban Ki-Moon is quite a rigid Secretary General!  But I digress, I know if I get my readers stuck on this topic we'll never get down to brass tacks.

Anyways, the ORIOLES!  Hey, not a bad offseason, huh?  Not a great one, mind you.  I haven't booked my plane tickets into BWI for late October, but let's hear it for a winning season!  We have some promise for 2011.  I am at times perplexed with Andy MacPhail's strategy (or potential lack thereof), but with Mr. .596 (Buck Showalter's winning percentage with the O's) calling a lot of the shots, I'm for any changes deemed necessary.  In case you've spent the winter hibernating (or rioting in Egypt), here's a breakdown of our offseason moves:

The Boppers – Mark Reynolds, Derrek Lee, and (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE) maybe Vladimir Guerrero (knock on wood, cross your fingers, do a rain dance).  The Vlad deal is still in the works.  We've offered $4 million with some flex to maybe go $5 million.  Vlad made $6.5 last year, rebounding from a down year to 29 homers and a .300 average.  If he signs to play DH for us, Luke "Nobama" Scott would move to left field.  Scott led the club with 27 bombs last year.

Mark Reynolds will be manning third base.  Yeah, yeah, detractors can laugh at his eye-popping strikeout totals and sub-Mendoza-line batting average, but he hit 32 homers last year, and 44 the year before that.  We gave up two dead-end relief pitching scrubs, so I'll take it for now until Josh Bell proves himself to be MLB ready.

And how about upgrading from a completely vacant first base position to Silver Slugger Derrek Lee?  He had an injured thumb last year and still hit 19 homers.  He'll be good for 25 this year.  With the addition of Reynolds and Lee at the corners, and maybe Vlad at DH, we're looking at potentially 90 more homers for 2011.  I understand that home runs don't always directly correlate with more wins, but they don't hurt.  Plus, it might get a few more butts in the seats.  I'm sure Peter Angelos could use the money. 

The Hurlers – Justin Duchscherer, Kevin Gregg, Jeremy Guthrie, and Koji Uehara.  Ok, the Stormin' Mormon and 'Mutton Chop' Uehara are no strangers to 333 West Camden Street, but we inked them both for a few more years and a few more dollars this winter.

Kevin Gregg is a solid pickup for the bullpen, as he made 63 appearances last year and threw for a 3.51 ERA.  We promised him he would close for us.  Let's hope he turns out better than the Mike 'Candy Arm' Gonzalez experiment from last year.  

Justin Duchscherer signed a deal with us today for a one-year contract.  He has a career 3.13 ERA, but has had more hip-surgeries than both my grandmas combined.  We got him for cheap, and he'll be handy in the back end of the rotation and allow some of our young studs to build up some experience down on the farm.  So, no, this isn't the 1971 squad with Jim Palmer, Pat Dobson, Dave McNally, and Mike Cueller (all 20 game winners that season), but these modest upgrades are improvements nonetheless. 

The Leathermen – JJ Hardy, Healthy Brian Roberts.  I thought Cesar Izturis was a good shortstop.  He's a Gold Glover and solid up the middle.  But he hit like a turd.  If you're going to bat .230 every year, I need to see more than 1 homer and 28 RBIs.  JJ Hardy is a nice upgrade who can hit in the .280 range and is a better-than-average fielder.  Let's hope Hardy can stay healthy.  

Speaking of healthy, how about the Orioles' Best Player of the Past Decade and my man-crush, Brian Roberts?  BRob says his back is feeling great and is pumped about the upgrades to the team.  The Birds will look pretty snazzy with Hardy and BRob turning two this season.  

I texted Nick "The Franchise" Markakis asking for his thoughts, but he has yet to get back to me.  His wife, Christina, called my lovely fiance Emily to chat, and reminded her that Nick was bear hunting in New Brunswick, Canada as per usual.  I guess he doesn't get cell service up there.  We all know he goes up there just so he can grow his mountain-man beard.

The Chaff – Troy Patton, Jeff Fiorentino, Nick Green, Mark Hendrickson, Brendan Harris, et al.  I debated about giving these chucklebuckets any acknowledgement at all, but I suppose that even the red-headed stepchildren of the world deserve a sentence or two written about them.  Let's see.  

Troy Patton is one of our few left-handed relievers, and the ONLY one to get a DWI this offseason.  Nice job, Troy!  

Jeff Fiorentino came back to the O's today, after playing in Japan with the Hiroshima Carp of the Central League and batting .246.  You can't make this stuff up, people!  Omedetou, Jeff!  

Journeyman utility infielder Nick Green signed a minor league deal with us this December, making Baltimore his ninth port of call.  Ninth time's a charm, Nick!  

Mark Hendrickson also signed a minor league deal with us today, after a stellar 1-6 record last year and a 5.36 ERA.  Good to have ya back, Mark!

Brendan Harris – I don't even know who you are, man.  The Twins just threw you in with the JJ Hardy deal and we were like, "eh, fine, we'll take him."

I'm sure there are other fine young men who made forgettable (obviously) signings with us this winter, but right now I'm drawing a blank.

The Pirates – Speaking of chaff, how about those Buccos?  First off, let me preface this with an analogy:

Have you ever dated a girl who turned out to be a complete sloppy nutcase, so you broke up?  Later on, you see that a guy who you can't stand has started dating her, so you smile to yourself, giddily imagining the mess he's unknowingly in and the misery to follow.  Yeah, that jerk you don't like is the Pirates, and that brick of a girl who makes Snooki out to be Marie Curie is GARRETT ATKINS.

If you really wanted to, you could pull up the column Mark wrote in November, ripping the Orioles', um, third baseman.  So guess who was Pittsburgh's big acquisition this winter?  None other than the 1 home run, 9 RBI, .214 batting average bust that was Garrett Bernard Atkins.  Wow, I wonder who has the leg up on the Case Race this year?

I can taste that Natty Boh's now.

The Pirates came so close to picking up Derek Jeter.  Everyone thought it was a done deal until the Yankees curiously signed him. 

Analysis of the O’s Off-season Acquisitions

Dave said his next post was on the O’s recent acquisitions. I decided to beat him to the punch and give an objective view on the situation.

Derrek Lee:
Even with a new manager, the Orioles couldn’t help but sign at least one overpaid, over-the-hill veteran to their roster. Lee hit .260 last year and is expected to make around $10 million at age 35. Lee is a gold glove caliber first basemen. But, the question is if he has any “pop left in his bat”. The same question arose when the O’s signed Sosa, Palmeiro, and Tejada(the 2^nd time). Actually, their question was if there was any “juice left in the syringe?”

Mark Reynolds:
The good news for Reynolds is that he will not lead the NL in strikeouts in 2011, a title he has claim the last three seasons. The bad news is that he will surely lead the AL in strikeouts. Burn. He is the "Sultan of Swing-and-a-miss", the "King of the K,” and the "Colossus of Called Strike Three." (okay that last one was pretty weak, but I had to complete the Sandlot/Babe Ruth reference) Reynolds has the Major League record for most strikeouts in a season with 223 in 2009! In 2010, he became the quickest player to record 100 strikeouts after only 67 games. Also, he can’t field! As a third basemen, he has been in the top two in the league with errors the past three seasons.
Fortunately for Dave and O’s fans, the man can kill the ball. He hit 44 home runs in 2009 and has been ranked in the top 5 of at-bats per HR over the last two seasons. The Orioles got the power they wanted, but it came with some baggage.

JJ Hardy:
I’m not going to lie. I think JJ is a great pick up for the Orioles. I wish the Buccos would have picked him up. Maybe they are bitter that Hardy dominated the Pirates when he played for the Brewers. (He has a lifetime BA of .338 against us). If Hardy can stay healthy, he might be able to get back to his 2007/2008 form when he averaged .280/25/78 during the two seasons. Hardy is a great addition with plenty of upside in my opinion.

Kevin Gregg:
Gregg is a solid reliever that will help improve the worst bullpen in baseball. The best resume builder for Gregg is that he had an ERA of 3.51 with Toronto last year. He is familiar with the division and maybe he can give some tips to the Uehara on how to pitch to A-Rod. Cue the fireworks!

Who the O’s should have picked up:
Chien-Ming Wang was the Yankees ace for a couple years and almost won the Cy Young in 2006! He got injured and released. The Nats signed him for 2 million dollars. The jersey sales alone would have covered his salary. Also, it ruined my Christmas present for Dave…