Case Race

Between 1957 and 1975, the Soviet Union and the greatest nation that has ever existed or will ever exist were locked in a Space Race.  Shortly after World War II, a missile-based arms competition grew steadily into a battle for space exploration supremacy.  We humans ultimately lost the quest to become the first species in space.  Dogs and monkeys and mice beat us into orbit, but America climbed to the top of the world's totem pole when Neil Armstrong took his small steps from Apollo to the surface of the Moon.  Although some fools and Ruskies still refute the Moon Landing (ask Mark about it sometime), it is known as the crowning achievement of American ingenuity and inspires the country still today.  If you don't believe me, check Wikipedia.

Similarly to the Space Race, Mark and I are entrenched in a Case Race.  It's an epic battle between two world powers for ultimate superiority over one another.  One party is a left-leaning commie who lives in a big city, is rooted in ivory tower academia, and is unemployed and relying on the rest of America's workforce for support.  The other individual is a hard-working military man with the meat-and-potatoes common sense that built this country.  Take a wild guess who's who.  And guess who wins?

Allow me to provide some background concerning the history and tenets of the Case Race.  

It all began in the happiest of valleys several years ago as two young scholars smack talked one another's professed baseball teams.  Mark was hating on the Orioles, and Dave was spitting fire on the Pirates.  Amidst the venomous consternation, the young men decided to wager a case of brew on the final Win/Loss total of the season.  If the Pirates ended with the better record, Mark was to be awarded a case of his choosing.  If the Orioles prevailed, Dave triumphed in suds.  The exchange of beer was most sensible, considering the economic environment in which they found themselves.  A case of Natty was considered legal tender on the campus of the Princeton Review's Top American Party School of 2009-2010.  Students typically carted a box of 'Stones around in order to purchase necessities like SparkNotes, I mean textbooks.  The gentlemen were in a magical land where the beer flowed like wine, and the construct of their agreement linked with the culture of the campus.

Mark didn't know it at the time, but he had just made a sizable financial commitment, as the Orioles have defeated the Pirates every year since 2003.  I wish I had saved the demeaning texts I received back in June of this year, when the Orioles had hit absolute rock bottom and their dismal play had plunged them to 13 games below the Pirates.  Mark's antagonistic persecution brought me near the breaking point, yet I persevered.  Now the Fightin' Showalters have claimed another Case Race, as they are seven games up on the Pirates with six games remaining on the season.  A few weeks from now, while I'm taking a long pull of sweet nectar from a Yuengling bottle and enjoying a crisp fall evening, I'll look up at the cratered face of the moon and remember the other great Americans who paved my way to victory.