Re:Playoff Picks

I understand that if TPHB was a legitimate operation that I would be barred from disclosing my picks after the start of this magical time in October called the Playoffs.  Real journalists have to abide by deadlines, but I have never claimed to be real.  So, here's my belated take:

ALDS

Rays over Rangers.  Cliff Lee hurled a gem today, but since the O's ruined his debut in Texas and then drubbed him by hitting four homers in his next start against us back in August, I'm not sold on him dominating this postseason.  The AL west is soft, Cliff Lee can't pitch every inning, and that white powdery smudge on Ron Washington's nose is not from the donut he ate for breakfast.

Yankees over Twins.  I really wish the Twins could win this series, and yes, there are pitching issues in the Yankees organization, but it's not gonna happen.  It's a shame, because the Twins have a really good baseball operation up there in the Land of 1000 Lakes, where it's not just about ice fishing and talking like Canadians, eh.  They have a great coach, a hometown hero, a balance of solid pitching and timely hitting, and a willingness to get creative or play small ball to win.  The Twins are fun to watch, but the Evil Empire hired too many slugging mercenaries this year.

NLDS

Giants over Braves.  Ex-Oriole Aubrey Huff and Ex-Pirate Freddy Sanchez are swinging hot bats at an opportune time, propelling the San Frannys past the floundering Braves, who stumbled into their playoff spot.  Good on Bobby Cox for getting the Braves to the postseason, but Chipper Jones will be missed, and Atlanta will be booted early.

Philadelphiankees over Reds.  Roy Halladay.  This war-hardened rubber arm battled in the trenches of the AL East for years.  The idea of turning him loose on the limp-wristed NL batters seems cruel and unusual.  Rumor has it that Bud "Not Weiser" Selig had the Cy Young award shipped to Halladay's doorstep the day of his first start back in April.  Plus the Reds are from Ohio.  Boosh.

ALCS

Rays over Yankees.  They've already played 18 times this year, and the Rays won 10 of the meetings.  The Yankees pitching staff will wear thin, and the scrappy Rays will play with more heart (because the Yankees, incidentally, have no heart.  They're about as lively as Steinbrenner's 5' x 7' idol in Monument Park (too soon?)).  The sense of urgency that the Rays feel will motivate them to make it to the World Series for the second and final time in franchise history.  This offseason, the Rays will be gutted and they will never contend again.  Maybe if their target market cared as much about baseball as they do shuffleboard, Merrill Lynch, and Fiber One bars they would retain a decent team.  But when your team wins 96 games and you're still struggling to fill your stadium to 53% capacity, you're in bad shape.  Heck, we're on a 13 year losing skid and our attendance was at 1.7 million, just barely under the division champs at 1.8 million.

NLCS

Giants over Philadelphiankees.  Cue the apropos motivational speech from Rick Moranis in The Little Giants.  We know that 99 times in 100, the Phils sterling rotation would shred the Giants.  I'm hoping for that one time.  Why?  So three year old Phillies fans (those who didn't find their MLB allegiance until the losingest team ever won the 2008 World Series) won't be cluttering my Facebook newsfeed with arrogant, uneducated boasts that are typical of those in PA who grew up too close to New Jersey.

World Series

Giants over Rays.  This way, the 2010 World Series doesn't really matter.  Not many people would lean back in their rocking chairs 50 years from now and reminisce about the historic series between San Francisco and Tampa Bay.  Tampa Bay won't even have a team by 2060.  Or 2016.  The selfish reason behind me wanting this series not to matter is that the Orioles aren't there.  If Baltimore is not in the World Series, then all I hope for is that the big market bullies are kept away from a title (Yankees, Dodgers, Phillies, Red Sox, Angels...) so that no one will remember who won three years from now.  If the Giants win, I will feel least bad about the season.  So yes, this final analysis is based solely on my desire to see the least painful outcome in the World Series.  I will hope for this result, but when Charlie Manuel wins another ring for the City of Brotherly Love, please remind me to stay off Facebook for a week or two.