Orioles – it's not you, it's me?

The last time I wrote about the O's, that cruise ship, the Costa Concordia, had just crashed off the coast of Italy, you hadn't yet heard of and subsequently forgotten about Joseph Kony, and Joe Paterno was the winningest coach in D1 college football history.  Back then I told you that this season would be ugly.  I said that we weren't going to win games.  I said a lot of hurtful things that I wish I could take back.  I was young and arrogant and misinformed.  I'm not the man I used to be, baby.  I've grown and learned a lot since then and I'm going to value and appreciate you more than ever.

Your 2012 Baltimore Orioles are currently 73-58.  That's 15 games OVER .500 (and I didn't even expect them to sniff .500).  They have a big weekend in New York, and are just two games back from the division lead.  This time last year we were 54-81.  That's frickin' 27 games UNDER .500.  The O's are 24-6 in one run games, and have a 12 game extra-inning win streak going.  Sports journalists from coast to coast have been speculating as to how a team that scores less runs than it gives up can be in the playoff hunt.  People tend to think it's our consistent bullpen, or young guys stepping up, or some have just given up and said that we're lucky.  Maybe some or all three of these aspects have contributed slightly, but these journalists have missed the most important factor in the Orioles' success...ME!

Think about it, people.  What's been the one constant during the 14 losing years of O's baseball that was finally broken this year?  I have attended at least a game a year at least as long as I can remember, except for the 2012 season.  All this time I've been blaming everyone but myself about our long-lasting drought, but now it's clear – my presence at O's games has been the cancer.  Last year we would have had a great season if I hadn't made the 12 hour roundtrip drive from Florida's panhandle to Atlanta to watch the Braves shut us out 2-0.  That was the only game I went to, and this year I'm still in hiding because of YESH, so it doesn't look like I'll make it to any in 2012.

How do I feel now that I've come to grips with the fact that I am responsible for more than a decade of pain and agony?  Kinda like this – 

Then my expression changed to this –

And then it really hit me – 

I guess I'll have to cope with this realization and move on; it's just still tender right now.

So, let's change the subject, maybe it'll help me through the healing process.

Ah, here's a promising topic – the Red Sox have imploded on themselves like a neutron star.  The Sux are currently nine games under .500 and have traded off their big name players in a recent fire sale with the Dodgers.  Youkilis went to the White Sox and is blossoming there.  Bobby Valentine has trouble in the clubhouse, with players TEXTING over his head to management.  Yeah, the disgruntled Red Sox players had the courage to text their problems to the front office, led by their spokesman, er, I mean textman, Adrian Gonzalez.  Apparently they took issue with Bobby V leaving Jon Lester in the game while he was getting shelled early in a July 22nd game.  The pissed players followed Conflict Resolution 101 by huddling around the highest-paid player's smartphone while he bravely tapped "Send" and alerted the front office of their opinion.  Afterwards, they high-fived, gave one another a few "atta boy" butt slaps, and hit the showers.  All in a day's work.

I have loved watching the high school drama out of Boston, and I've also reveled in the nagging injuries of the decrepit Yankees.  I barely recognize their roster for today.  A-Roid is out with a broken hand, Teixeira (The Traitor) pulled his calf, and Curtis Granderson just hurt his hammy in the game today.  The Yanks are getting old, and it's a pleasure to watch them stumble at the finish line as the post season approaches.

As I said earlier, I'm deeply sorry for cursing the O's with my presence since the 90's, and I'll get sure to steer clear of games through the end of the season.  I also apologize for my dreary statements from January about this year, hopefully now that we've ascertained the source of our failures, our future will be bright.  At any rate, have fun watching some exciting Baltimore baseball this Fall, and hit the books – you never know when you might face a high-risk brain twister like this: