Major League Baseball's Greatest Home Run Ever

50 years ago today, Bill Mazeroski hit a Game 7 walk off home run in the bottom of the 9th to beat the New York Yankees in the 1960 World Series. Awesome!

Orioles 2010 Report Card

Now that our season is complete, final grades are due for the Orioles.  This season must be broken into two separate semesters.  April sixth to August second is designated Before Buck (BB), and August third to October third indicates the During Buck (DB) semester.  The BB time period is differentiated by a 32-73 record, or a .305 winning percentage.  Characterized by base-running snafus, maddeningly awful pitching, and an overall weeping and gnashing of teeth; the club was on pace for 113 losses, rivaling the '62 Mets for the worst season ever.  The DB semester can be illustrated with nearly opposite statistics.  A record of 34-23 with a .596 winning percentage showed a resurgent, motivated, and at times, scared young team that pieced together an idea of how to win baseball games.  This report card will provide grades for both semesters structured by position.

Jeff Zrebiec of the Baltimore Sun filled out a similar report card for the O's, but he was pretty harsh, handing out grades of C-, D, and F like roaches at a Phish concert...or candy.  I'm not holding the Orioles to such an unattainable standard.  Comparing the performance of Orioles players to those of the Yankees or Phillies is counterproductive, as I'll approach these grades on a more optimistic level.  All high school kids aren't graded on an AP scale.  Some teens find that pre-algebra, the third time around, interferes with extracurricular activities such as getting pregnant and working the night shift at Subway.  You can't grade community college students on Ivy League standards or no one would graduate.  That's why I'm treating the O's more like a bunch of glue-sniffing derelicts than the class president or the valedictorian.

Click on the Report Card to view it in original form.

Re:Playoff Picks

I understand that if TPHB was a legitimate operation that I would be barred from disclosing my picks after the start of this magical time in October called the Playoffs.  Real journalists have to abide by deadlines, but I have never claimed to be real.  So, here's my belated take:

ALDS

Rays over Rangers.  Cliff Lee hurled a gem today, but since the O's ruined his debut in Texas and then drubbed him by hitting four homers in his next start against us back in August, I'm not sold on him dominating this postseason.  The AL west is soft, Cliff Lee can't pitch every inning, and that white powdery smudge on Ron Washington's nose is not from the donut he ate for breakfast.

Yankees over Twins.  I really wish the Twins could win this series, and yes, there are pitching issues in the Yankees organization, but it's not gonna happen.  It's a shame, because the Twins have a really good baseball operation up there in the Land of 1000 Lakes, where it's not just about ice fishing and talking like Canadians, eh.  They have a great coach, a hometown hero, a balance of solid pitching and timely hitting, and a willingness to get creative or play small ball to win.  The Twins are fun to watch, but the Evil Empire hired too many slugging mercenaries this year.

NLDS

Giants over Braves.  Ex-Oriole Aubrey Huff and Ex-Pirate Freddy Sanchez are swinging hot bats at an opportune time, propelling the San Frannys past the floundering Braves, who stumbled into their playoff spot.  Good on Bobby Cox for getting the Braves to the postseason, but Chipper Jones will be missed, and Atlanta will be booted early.

Philadelphiankees over Reds.  Roy Halladay.  This war-hardened rubber arm battled in the trenches of the AL East for years.  The idea of turning him loose on the limp-wristed NL batters seems cruel and unusual.  Rumor has it that Bud "Not Weiser" Selig had the Cy Young award shipped to Halladay's doorstep the day of his first start back in April.  Plus the Reds are from Ohio.  Boosh.

ALCS

Rays over Yankees.  They've already played 18 times this year, and the Rays won 10 of the meetings.  The Yankees pitching staff will wear thin, and the scrappy Rays will play with more heart (because the Yankees, incidentally, have no heart.  They're about as lively as Steinbrenner's 5' x 7' idol in Monument Park (too soon?)).  The sense of urgency that the Rays feel will motivate them to make it to the World Series for the second and final time in franchise history.  This offseason, the Rays will be gutted and they will never contend again.  Maybe if their target market cared as much about baseball as they do shuffleboard, Merrill Lynch, and Fiber One bars they would retain a decent team.  But when your team wins 96 games and you're still struggling to fill your stadium to 53% capacity, you're in bad shape.  Heck, we're on a 13 year losing skid and our attendance was at 1.7 million, just barely under the division champs at 1.8 million.

NLCS

Giants over Philadelphiankees.  Cue the apropos motivational speech from Rick Moranis in The Little Giants.  We know that 99 times in 100, the Phils sterling rotation would shred the Giants.  I'm hoping for that one time.  Why?  So three year old Phillies fans (those who didn't find their MLB allegiance until the losingest team ever won the 2008 World Series) won't be cluttering my Facebook newsfeed with arrogant, uneducated boasts that are typical of those in PA who grew up too close to New Jersey.

World Series

Giants over Rays.  This way, the 2010 World Series doesn't really matter.  Not many people would lean back in their rocking chairs 50 years from now and reminisce about the historic series between San Francisco and Tampa Bay.  Tampa Bay won't even have a team by 2060.  Or 2016.  The selfish reason behind me wanting this series not to matter is that the Orioles aren't there.  If Baltimore is not in the World Series, then all I hope for is that the big market bullies are kept away from a title (Yankees, Dodgers, Phillies, Red Sox, Angels...) so that no one will remember who won three years from now.  If the Giants win, I will feel least bad about the season.  So yes, this final analysis is based solely on my desire to see the least painful outcome in the World Series.  I will hope for this result, but when Charlie Manuel wins another ring for the City of Brotherly Love, please remind me to stay off Facebook for a week or two.

Playoff Picks

NLDS
Giants over Braves 3-1: Freddy Sanchez plus great pitching is the story line in this series. Sorry Bobby Cox, o wait I’m not sorry…

Philankees over Reds 3-1: Phils’ bullpen blows one game, but besides that experience and $$$ take over.

ALDS
Rangers over Rays 3-2: Hamilton and Lee dominate.

Yankees over Twins 3-1: I feel bad for the Twins, they seem to lose to the Yanks every year in the playoffs. I’m cheering for him, but without Morneau there is no chance.

NLCS
Philankees over Giants 4-2 : Both have great pitching, but even with Freddy Sanchez, the Giants do not have the bats to get it done.

ALCS
Rangers over the Yankees 4-3: Cliff Lee wins game 7 in Yankee Stadium, a place where he had success last year.

World Series
Rangers over the Philankees 4-2: Cliff Lee and some” no namers” out hurl the Roys and Hamels. Plus, the Rangers manager is on Red Balls.

Dave has some sort of exam tomorrow so he had to text in his picks: “Im taking giants [over the] rays”

Philadelphia Philankees

I need to preface this post by saying that I am in favor of a salary cap in Major League Baseball, but I have accepted the fact that Bud Selig, current MLB commissioner, will never do anything about it. The difference in payroll between the Yankees and the Pirates is over $170 million. Naturally, I hate the Yankees and how they are able to outbid every other team(sorry Dave) for any free agent. I hate how $$$ turns into division titles and World Series Championships. These days, a similar emotion is stirred up when I think about the Philadelphia Phillies…

The Phillies clinched their 4^th straight NL East on Monday, September 27th by defeating the ligament-torn Nationals 8-0. I would say congratulations, but would you congratulate Dave for buying Velveeta Mac and Cheese? Exactly. The Phillies are starting to buy Division championships like they were yearly AAA Memberships. Very expensive memberships I might add.

When the Phillies won the World Series in 2008, they did it in a respectable way. They used home grown talent(Utley, Howard, Rollins, Hamels), quality free agents(Victorino, Werth) and second chance veterans(Moyer, Lidge) to capture Philadelphia’s first championship in 28 years. Truly a magical season, where all the pieces fit together. Good job Phils!

But after their great playoff run in 2008, the Phillies payroll has skyrocketed:
2008 - $98,269,880
2009 - $113,004,046
2010 - $142,728,379

Since the Phillies won in 2008, they have added pricey free agents to keep their team at an elite level: Roy Halladay at $15.75 million; Roy Oswalt at $15 million; Raul Ibanez over $12 million; Cliff Lee at $9 million; Placido Polanco at $5.17 million.

I never liked the Phillies, but I did respect them for how they formed a championship caliber team without gaudy free agent signings. After this year with Halladay and Oswalt, it is getting ridiculous. What is there left to respect? Jason Werth’s beard?

Everyone hates the Yankees for how they buy out the Free Agent market. The Phillies are following suit.

Hence the birth of the Philankees.

Re: Case Race

I get it. I'm a communist and Dave is G.I. Joe (Aryan edition?). Hmm interesting...

Anyway, I am man enough to admit that the Pirates had a worse record than the Orioles. Dave (aka the guy from Street Fighter) will receive his ~$30 trip to Space.

Case Race

Between 1957 and 1975, the Soviet Union and the greatest nation that has ever existed or will ever exist were locked in a Space Race.  Shortly after World War II, a missile-based arms competition grew steadily into a battle for space exploration supremacy.  We humans ultimately lost the quest to become the first species in space.  Dogs and monkeys and mice beat us into orbit, but America climbed to the top of the world's totem pole when Neil Armstrong took his small steps from Apollo to the surface of the Moon.  Although some fools and Ruskies still refute the Moon Landing (ask Mark about it sometime), it is known as the crowning achievement of American ingenuity and inspires the country still today.  If you don't believe me, check Wikipedia.

Similarly to the Space Race, Mark and I are entrenched in a Case Race.  It's an epic battle between two world powers for ultimate superiority over one another.  One party is a left-leaning commie who lives in a big city, is rooted in ivory tower academia, and is unemployed and relying on the rest of America's workforce for support.  The other individual is a hard-working military man with the meat-and-potatoes common sense that built this country.  Take a wild guess who's who.  And guess who wins?

Allow me to provide some background concerning the history and tenets of the Case Race.  

It all began in the happiest of valleys several years ago as two young scholars smack talked one another's professed baseball teams.  Mark was hating on the Orioles, and Dave was spitting fire on the Pirates.  Amidst the venomous consternation, the young men decided to wager a case of brew on the final Win/Loss total of the season.  If the Pirates ended with the better record, Mark was to be awarded a case of his choosing.  If the Orioles prevailed, Dave triumphed in suds.  The exchange of beer was most sensible, considering the economic environment in which they found themselves.  A case of Natty was considered legal tender on the campus of the Princeton Review's Top American Party School of 2009-2010.  Students typically carted a box of 'Stones around in order to purchase necessities like SparkNotes, I mean textbooks.  The gentlemen were in a magical land where the beer flowed like wine, and the construct of their agreement linked with the culture of the campus.

Mark didn't know it at the time, but he had just made a sizable financial commitment, as the Orioles have defeated the Pirates every year since 2003.  I wish I had saved the demeaning texts I received back in June of this year, when the Orioles had hit absolute rock bottom and their dismal play had plunged them to 13 games below the Pirates.  Mark's antagonistic persecution brought me near the breaking point, yet I persevered.  Now the Fightin' Showalters have claimed another Case Race, as they are seven games up on the Pirates with six games remaining on the season.  A few weeks from now, while I'm taking a long pull of sweet nectar from a Yuengling bottle and enjoying a crisp fall evening, I'll look up at the cratered face of the moon and remember the other great Americans who paved my way to victory.